I am here on this earth for my own soul’s evolution, not to take care of you or anyone else. Even though taking care of someone else could be rewarding, it usually becomes a burden sooner or later. Some people learned to do this because they had to in order to survive. Some children grew up too fast - having to take care of their siblings or emotionally unbalanced parents, or a family can be so enmeshed that no-one actually knows who they are.
Care taking can become a disease. Most caretakers become martyrs and victims, eventually becoming sick or addicted to something to take away the pain. When I care-take someone else, I get to not take care of my self. If I am care taking, you are what I am always thinking about. I begin to worry, control, manipulate and hold in my feelings or I become angry, resentful and hurtful. Either way, it does not work and I am not whole… and actually neither are you.
Being here for my own soul’s growth and learning does not mean that I will not help and support other human beings, and of course, the people I love most. The more I allow you to learn and grow and take care of yourself, the healthier we will both become. As I learn to take care of me, I am actually more free to love you fully. I will not have to be fearful of the time we spend together or apart– knowing that I am not giving away a part of myself.
When I take responsibility for your or anyone’s feelings or happiness I am taking away a piece of that person, a piece of you, leaving you helpless.
What does responsibility mean? Here are a few dictionary definitions:
the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of
having control over someone
the state or fact of being accountable or to blame for
something
the opportunity or ability to act independently and make
decisions without authorization
a thing that one is required to do as part of a job, role, or legal obligation
I would never want to take responsibility for your feelings. My goodness, it would take away your very core human self. If I did all that according to definition, you would never learn to be in your own power. I would leave you helpless, and you would have learned it from me. Parents can so easily do this for their children, in the name of love (or even fear).
Surely, I do not want control over you, or moral obligation or being accountable or blamed if everything does not work out according to my plan for you.
I want to be responsible for my own healthy body, mind, and spirit. My mission and purpose is to discover the mystery inside me, to learn to love my Self and others unconditionally, to grow my whole being, and be open to receive my own personal instructions here on this earth - as a connected being. When I ruminate about your needs, your feelings, fearful of what you will think or feel… or how you or anyone might react, I am living in fear and personal lock down.
Speaking my emotional truth and love without being responsible for your reaction is the greatest freedom in the world. I desire to commit to that this very day…
When I can express my real feelings, my body is so happy and healthy. If I hold in my real feelings because I am afraid of your reaction, I am not being real, or honest or authentic, and I begin to lose parts of myself.
When I begin to hold in and hold on, I live in my secret self. Sometimes your pain is so scary to me that I just do not want to say something that will create pain for you. I do not like to see you sad. I do not like to feel your anger because that really scares me.
At some time in my life I got the impression I had the power to make you happy or sad, and that even extended to my believing at times that I could be responsible for your life or death....way too much for me. I now see my belief was in error. I forgive whoever helped me take that on… (Thanks Mom and Dad).
I want to experience real love with you, which means that I will tell you my true feelings, my truth – without fear of your reaction. If you do have a reaction, I will know that it is ABOUT
YOU. And, that YOU must be responsible for your own feelings and reactions. I can only be me. When I try to shield you from pain or hurt feelings, I am really taking away your power, or taking away your opportunity to discover your power.
It is perfectly healthy to CARE about how someone feels. Most humans genuinely care about other people’s pain and sorrow. And we all want to be happy and wish for our loved ones to be happy.
The thing is, we are all here on our own journey through life in order to evolve our soul. Opportunities arise all the time for people to discover their deeper powers. Pain, challenge, change, sorrow, loss and grief are often the thing that opens a person to their inner power and strength.
When I shield my loved one from pain or hurt, I am taking away their opportunity to discover their greatness. Therefore, I am committed to NOT shielding you from the natural consequences of your actions, or from the painful events and happenings in your life.
And so it is that I commit to facing my own pain and working with it, letting you do the same.
Much love,❤️
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