Happy Birthday Hilary and Vanessa! You were born 47 years ago, and today I decided to celebrate your birth rather than your death(s). Every year since you died, I write to you.
Oh how I experienced so much love,
Joy and pain
With the two of you.
The past is slipping away though.
The sting is gone.
And as I sit here fully present in the moment,
The integration is completing.
It grips my soul
With a longing to let go of things that no longer serve me.
And what might that be?
That old hate of Self
Guilt of Self
Pity of Self
Sickness of mind and body
Sitting there all along on the edge of the contrast
Not knowing yet.
I should have told myself what was really going on
Or written myself a note from the other dimension
Or left a clue somewhere.
Instead, my heart broke
All the time.
I didn’t know right away that I came here for this…
You, the actors in my show.
We chose our lives together so many times
Versions of lives I had lived,
We had lived…
Reflecting back to me.
I forgot.
And yet I knew.
I did know.
We had an incredible drama
Complete with all the actors
And credits
Appearing on the screen
As each episode concluded
And always an amazing sound track.
True still.
This time though, I get the point.
Consciousness opened up
lock, stock, and barrel.
Aware I am consciously integrating all my shadow lives,
giving knowledge and density to my soul
while not being drained or pulled off to the side.
This drama has taught me well.
I came to experience love in a variety of ways and that was the point.
With your help, I have learned through the contrast
of what love is and what love is not.
Everything other than love showed up
and I have learned to love everything that arises
because of this.
How fortunate and amazing is that?
It was all about love.
As I rejoice in your births, and honor your deaths,
My beautiful, deep amazing twin daughters...
I celebrate the deeper meaning of our purpose together.
And now here I am…
My own Birthday week too.
75 years on the planet...
Imagine.
Never thought of that
No coincidence
I am sure.
My birthday gift to myself is the integration.
I connect to you both,
More aware than ever before
Of our choosing our lives together
So many times.
I desired to take on a life time
To test myself on love…
To love without guilt
Then love unconditionally
Seeing all as one.
Now ready to integrate all the lives before this.
No more a victim to others,
Or needing to participate in other people’s drama.
I will not be compromised.
Next, I fully integrate the old pain, sorrow, and the greatest thing of all - love,
without falling apart around it or with it
As I continue to live each day.
And I am free from this moment, to go beyond all limits
With no effort
Smiling
Rejuvenating this body
Doing what is in my heart
Creating without distraction
Never giving up
Knowing all I have come here to do is
Almost there…
And it is so incredible!
I love without attachment
And I love you girls without attachment to your human bodies.
I am coming into my spring
Growing the master experience
Working through the steps.
Love is the gift.
Contrast is the way
I am that I am.
I choose to be greater than my Self.
I smile because I can.
I surrender to the arms of the infinite.
Knowing all the people I love
Are really me.
Happy Birthday Vanessa and Hilary❤️❤️
I write to heal.
Your Mother,❤️
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