TONIGHT
IN HONOR OF MY DAUGHTER, VANESSA HOPE GARRETT
(10/06/77 - 09/28/2017)
09/28/2020
Hello Vanessa,
I can’t believe it has been 3 years since you died right here in this house. Bella has your room now. Actually, it was hers before you came to live with us that year. Then again, you lived there a short time before she was even born with your boyfriend from England - nice chap. I liked him.
A variety of people have lived in that room at one time or another. You, your sister, your sister and Jasmine; your sister and Bella; my husband Jim’s best friend; My first husband Bill; and my wonderful sister-in-law, Vicki. It was supposed to be Jim’s office and I think he used it for about a month or two over these past 23 years. Jim cleaned the room up after you left us that day and we brought in roses and a rocking chair and smudged it well. That room has been a room of love for all our family, a sacred space forever, and still is.
When I am lying in bed with Bella sometimes, I realize we are in the same exact place where you took the last breath - in that Hospice bed. Then, I feel weird and sad and remember everything about that day, and as it starts to over-take me a bit, I breathe and release.
Are you aware of what is going on down here on the earth this year? You would not believe it.
We have had what is called the coronavirus, civil rights unrest, death, killing, protests, demonstrations, political anger, fear, and blame with high tension all around and more and more natural disasters from global warming. You would think the world was coming to an end.
But wait! The world as we know it IS coming to an end. I know I was born for these times, Vanessa. The shadow side of our Selves is spilling out of our lives into the Universe - causing everything we are experiencing - actually mirroring the human condition. This caused us to have to STOP and feel, and process, and BE - stand firm and decide “Who Am I really? I see it as a giant detoxification of all the old patterns, rules, structures, fixed ideas, systems, rigidity and fear that has reached its saturation point - and no longer serve us. Is this the way it was for you as you were dying?
All our old wired imprints, beliefs and ways of being must go so we can bring in and enjoy a new consciousness - a higher consciousness and vibration in which the heart space expands, and all people connect to real love. I am sure that the tipping point is upon us. And this makes for a most exciting time to be alive. Are you a part of this somehow?
I know this new energy on the planet is forcing me to drop all my old identities and Selves. I am changing, Vanessa - and have no words to explain exactly what that means. I feel more committed, organized, passionate, clear, and am aware I am definitely here to help people navigate this new world. Re-framing pain and blame and explaining how the Universe works is the gift I give. I actually “get it.”
Some days I want to sleep more than I ever have and other days I am receiving the most incredible knowledge and ideas for going to places I had never imagined, “turned on and tuned in” to something big, staying up all night.
I want you to know that I am beginning some new healing programs in honor of you, your twin sister and our family to give healing and transformation for all those addicted to habits, substances, co-dependency and love pain that are re-enactments of the deep patterns and identities we humans have carried in our bodies. I personally declare in honor of our family - that our own patterns are dismantling completely as I write this. It is my wish that you now have freedom from the patterns such as these from our family lineage as will the generations forward and backward.
With my change, I love you more deeply than ever before. I love everyone and everything more than I ever have. I see you in nature - the trees, flowers - especially roses, the sea and the ground - your beauty and smiling face there always. I know you were done here and you left in your perfect time, right on schedule. And I miss you so much.
Thank you for listening to me tonight. You are a light in my life forever. And so it is.